Some weeks later…
I am clearing out my stuff, I think I might need to move away and start again so I am clearing out my stuff, and there’s a box of my theology books from uni. I leaf through a Saul Tulloch
You do not know where you have come from, or where you are going. The state of your whole life is estrangement from others and yourself. Estrangement from the origin and aim of your life. Estrangement from the depth and the greatness, while drawing on – living on – the very power-source from which you are estranged.
…But you cannot escape the bindings. You are inextricably bound to your Self and to all other life. Separated and yet bound; estranged and yet belonging; not believing in life, in the life-force, yet being alive. It’s a sickness; one that you feel only death will end.
Yes, so I’m toying with that option, okay? You head-fucker.
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