Dec 112014

Picture by Janey Walklin
Artist: Janey Walklin

No period

I get the test done at the doctor’s to save money on buying the kit. I think it’s most likely the menopause but it turns out I am pregnant.

‘So how do you feel about this?’

The locum seems interested in me. I suppose because the waiting room is otherwise full of drug-users and obese females with toddlers, same old same old.

‘Well. The statistical likelihood of my carrying it to full term at the age of forty-seven – that’s if I decide to, if the amniocentesis and everything shows there’s nothing wrong with it – it’s only thirty per cent or something, isn’t it?’

‘You’re obviously quite genned up already.’

‘Internet last night. Not really. A bit.’

‘Well at five months gone you’ve missed your first scan. I’ll get you an appointment.’


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  14 responses to “Page 31”

  1. Ooh er! What a turn of events, Suki…

    It’d be interesting to know how many “older” women – say over 45 – in this country face a similar situation each year. And then it’d be interesting to know what decisions they made. I’m a childless 41 and definitely feel too old for children now. I can barely cope with the once-nightly wake-up when my cat demands to be let out, let alone being up half the night, every night.

    As for life modelling: do many pregnant women still work as models? How “late” into pregnancy? Are we going to see any more images of you?

    Having never been pregnant, it’s a female form that fascinates me.

  2. Well done Suki, congratulations on becoming pregnant at 47 years old, It will be the making of you, a baby is the most wonderful thing to happen to a woman. I enjoyed motherhood, and being pregnant. Good luck to you. Keep in touch.

  3. What’s the title of that 19th century gothic novel about thwarted love, that’s so chaotically beautiful yet technically perfect, and was ahead of its time? ~~ Wuthering Heights ~~ of course.

    It’s considered an art work as well as a literary work. I’m guessing it’s to do with the erotic dynamic of the language. It rips like a gale through the entire narrative, hewing characters and events from the isolated locale with such force as to make them tangibly visible – all in one lush, dark, sweeping brush-stroke. Not one word is superfluous.

    Your prose has that incisive quality too, Suki. So rich, yet so spare. For instance, the tightly-written piece above mercilessly conveys that heavy compromise is looming. The complexity of your feelings and the uncertainty surrounding your emotional future are all dished up in one exquisite nutshell. I sense that you are about to …………..

    Let’s get on to events that are CERTAIN to have a happy outcome – like ‘Wuthering Rhubarb’… Yikes no!! I mean RUNNING WITH RHUBARB!! [For full details, see HERE. Admin] The exhibition of alluring art being held at Redbrick Mill, Batley, West Yorkshire (UK) this weekend. There’ll be free bucks fizz and sweet (and savoury) festive nibbles on Sunday which all goes to show that we Yorkshire folk ARE GENEROUS!! Never mind that nasty joke about us “being like the Scots but with the generosity gene removed”. That is vicious evil slander that should be dealt with by the courts.

    What’s more, the Redbrick Mill Designer Shop will be open Saturday 13th and Sunday 14th with lots of Christmas shopping opportunities.

  4. Well Suki, the story so far has been dull as ditch-water in comparison to the latest posting… With the makings of an outrageous happy ending, or something on the edge of sci-fi… say, ‘Grey Power’ taking its revenge by re-populating the world with boring old farts and crones.

  5. Congratulations Suki,

    the time of expectations has come: lean on your senses and leave behind your knowledge about everything… Just listen to the sound of a growing baby in your tummy; feel the first movement; talk to it.

    As to modelling, marvel on that image of yours: with every single day, week, month, your body is becoming more precious as a life model. Unique, unforgettable… Do every modelling assignment; ask for more; keep all of the drawings you can get your hands on – pay for them if you need to.

    One day you will be immeasurably happy for doing this.
    Good luck!

  6. Nerves of steel, Bruce.

  7. Hello Suki

    Congratulations! Lovely news! If you feel in good health, I’d definitely recommend continuing to life-model. As with anything with pregnancy, you just need to take it easy, no strenuous poses but relaxed, seated, poses which mean you breathe easily and move more frequently. Life-drawers will adapt fine. I modelled in the later stages of pregnancy after the morning sickness and dizziness had subsided and also with my daughter whilst breastfeeding. A picture I have of us doing so is one of my favourite drawings.The very best of luck with it.

    • Thanks for the congrats, Boyko and Nina. To be honest I’m still mentally adjusting and don’t yet quite know what to think about this eventuality.

  8. Many congratulations Suki! I agree with everyone else: carry on modelling. I have dual modelled with pregnant ladies in the past.